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Sunday, October 04, 2020

Life Lately Vol. 5 Birthday Month

I've just celebrated my birthday last month and of course, Facebook as usual showed me memories of my posts from years back. I noticed that I made wish lists every year. I used to write lists of things that were easy to acquire if I had the money--which I didn't have btw. Ah, simpler times. When you know it's easier to get the things that would make you happy. But why is it, that now that you have all the money to buy those things that used to be difficult for you to get, you crave for the things money can't buy.

Peace of mind. It's been a long difficult year and it's not finished still. Just when I thought life was getting better other things got worse. I wanted to run away, as far away as I could from life itself. I didn't like where my thoughts were going. Things that I never gave thought about sometimes flood my sleepless nights. Fueling the emotions I didn't want to feel. So I gave myself the time that I needed. I stayed away from everyone as much as I could and took the time to think about myself and the people I love. All I could say is social media is sht.

Happiness. As we age, our definition of happiness change. It used to be so easy to be happy. Fries, your favorite movie, a song you listen to playing on the radio, hanging out with friends, reading a nice book. Maybe it's just me, but I find it hard to be genuinely happy these days. The things I used to do and were passionate about feels more of a burden. Tell me, what am I to do to be happy in a world as crazy as I may be?

My beautiful Switch Lite with Stickybunny Skin.

Escape. In my solitude I found video games to be a friend. If I am not busy with household chores or skin care, which might not even be working tbh I play video games. My Nintendo Switch Lite is my lover. I sleep and wake up with it and probably spend the most time with it if I'm not working. I currently have 9 games on it--Animal Crossing: New Horizons being the very first one which I am still playing up to now. 

My first night.

After a month I purchased Little Nightmares which I've always wanted to have ever since I saw the trailer for it. Definitely didn't regret the purchase but definitely hate myself for not finishing it until now cause I'm crazy like that. 

Never got past this creepy guy.

I purchased Manticore: Galaxy on Fire next, just because it was on sale and was really cheap, I just play it whenever I have nothing else to play and don't want to play my other ones, which by the way never happens so it's basically just there to make it look like I play a lot of games. I also have Cuphead because I played it with someone and I wanted to be better the next time we play lol. 

I've acquired The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wind and The Binding of Isaac Afterbirth from someone--and boy you're never gonna see them again like you're never gonna see me--I was enjoying Zelda until I realized I suck and haven't played it again after playing it for just more than 2 hours. I am planning to get back to it after some time when I have a lot of spare time since this game is so beautiful and I want to give my full attention to it. 

I recently bought UNO, Untitled Goose Game (which I really find interesting) and The Stillness of the Wind all of which I haven't played yet but I would definitely get into doing soon. I noticed that I mentioned a lot of games on my Switch that I don't really play but I said I spend a lot of time using it, it actually means I'm just playing a lot of ACNH lol. 

I also recently started playing a mobile game called Among Us, and although I didn't use social media a lot and don't talk to a lot of people, this game helped me bond with my family back home. I usually play with my brother and cousins on weekends and it's such a lot of fun to play. Maybe I'll write about it some time too.

Aoyama Flower Shop Cafe: My birthday celebration

They celebrated my birthday with me!

Bought a cake for myself.

My family prepared something special for me and made me cry on my birthday!

Gratitude. No matter how much I say that life is hard for me right now, I am always thankful. Some people have it worse than I do--although everyone has the right to feel what they want to feel regardless of other people--I choose to feel better. Besides, I have people who cares about me who may be far away but always show their love the way they know how. Some of them near and never fail to be there when I need them to, most of the time letting me barge into their homes on nights where I bawl my eyes out,  listening and letting me stay for a while. There would be better days, so I keep moving forward.

I didn't really feel like posting about my birthday, but what the heck, it only happens once a year and is always the best time to be thankful of life. I hope everyone is safe. I want to try writing more in the last quarter of the year so please bear with me!

Art by @bethdrawsthings on IG

More update soon!

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